Reduce Internal Friction, Ease Anxiety – These 10 Little Things Really Do Help a Bit

It’s hard to say exactly when it started, but taking time off no longer seems to fully relax us. In this age of anxiety: you see friends on social media already traveling, and you feel anxious; you brush your hair in the morning and see strands falling everywhere, and you feel anxious; you look at the pile of pending tasks on your desk, and you feel anxious; the thought of going home to see your parents makes you anxious.

The signs and feelings of anxiety are complex: anger, disappointment, despair, helplessness, frustration, even confusion – they all tell our bodies: I’m anxious, I’m so anxious, I’m dying of anxiety.

Persistent anxiety creates a strong sense of internal friction: you feel like you can’t go on, your brain simply won’t function, you can’t eat or sleep – every physical sensation seems to drag you further into the abyss.

Today we want to talk about how to face anxiety. This article is a bit long and may take you quite a while to digest, so we suggest you save it first and read it later.

Don’t panic – feeling anxious is normal. When facing potential danger or unease, our nervous system automatically enters a state of alert: adrenaline spikes, heart rate accelerates, palms sweat, reactions quicken – all preparing us for “fight or flight” when a threat arrives. That is anxiety.

From an evolutionary perspective, the physical responses that come with anxiety help us focus and sharpen our physical abilities. Unfortunately, many people ignore the warning signs behind anxiety and only feel its discomfort deeply, treating it as a harmful emotion that must be completely avoided or eliminated. This resistance tells the brain that anxiety itself is a threat, triggering even more anxiety and discomfort.

The next time anxiety appears, try saying to yourself:

It’s okay, I’m allowed to be anxious. It feels a bit uncomfortable, but it’s normal.

Tell yourself: things are not actually that bad. Our brain is like a fountain, producing all kinds of thoughts every moment. When we feel anxious, our brain’s attention is biased. The thoughts it latches onto are more likely to keep telling us how real the danger is or how terrible the situation is. Caught in the whirlpool of anxiety, we often unthinkingly take these skewed thoughts as the whole truth.

Next time, when terrible thoughts like “It’s all over,” “This is awful,” or “There’s no hope” arise again, try thinking a bit further:

\_What exact thought or image is my brain playing right now? What is the more realistic situation? How far is it from the worst‑case scenario in my head? How can I make myself more comprehensive and objective?\_

Anxiety has levels – judge where you are. Anxiety is an emotion, a subjective feeling. Anxiety itself is neither right nor wrong, and everyone experiences it differently. What we need most is to sense our own state, determine what level of anxiety we’ve reached, and then take action. If we keep ignoring the discomfort caused by anxiety, it will accumulate and eventually erupt one day, leaving us overwhelmed.

Anxiety you can ignore: If the discomfort distracts you and affects your thinking or actions, consider taking a 3‑to‑5‑minute break and doing something relaxing. Anxiety worth noting: If it doesn’t affect your thinking or actions but you feel mild discomfort (like a faster heartbeat or a tight throat), focus on what matters most right now – it will slowly subside on its own. Anxiety that needs active regulation: If the discomfort feels like it’s approaching your limit, and to prevent further deterioration, stop your current activity and seriously do some exercises that effectively help you relax both body and mind. Anxiety that must be taken seriously: If the discomfort feels unbearable and you feel completely “flooded,” stop what you’re doing and try to interrupt the emotion (e.g., blow cold air on yourself, splash cold water on your face, eat a piece of lemon, etc.), then use other effective methods to regulate and relax.

Think back: how much time in the past week have you spent in these states? If more than half of that time falls into the third and fourth experiences, your anxiety level may be relatively high, and it might be worth seeking professional help to adjust.

Breathe – deep breaths, in… and out… Yes! No matter what level of anxiety you’re at, breathing techniques can help relieve it. The physical reactions accompanying anxiety are actually the result of muscle tension, and calm breathing is the simplest way to relax. Place your attention on your breath and count each inhalation.

You can follow these steps to feel your own breath: Gently close your eyes and bring your focus to the physical sensations of breathing. Pay close attention: as you inhale, feel the air glide over the nostrils, flow into the nasal passages, down the throat, fill the lungs, expand the ribcage, and gently lift the abdomen. As you exhale, feel the abdomen slowly fall, the ribcage contract, and the warm, moist air flow out through the nostrils.

You may find your mind wandering from time to time – that’s perfectly normal. Simply and gently bring your attention back to the physical sensations of breathing. By continuously and mindfully observing these sensations, you’ll notice that your focused time gradually lengthens and your inner restlessness slowly subsides.

Write down the “things you can do.” When anxious, we generate many questions: What should I do? Where is the problem? How do I get rid of it? More questions lead to more anxiety, because these thoughts are part of anxiety itself. Beyond the questions, many people never stop to think: right now, at this moment, is there something I \_can\_ do?

In fact, once we start seriously and concretely thinking about what to do, anxiety can be greatly calmed. The simplest approach: try writing down, item by item, “what I can do right now.”

Even if you’re facing something temporarily unsolvable and don’t know what to do, that’s okay. Simply writing down the anxiety‑provoking matter can also relieve anxiety. Yes – anxiety’s worst enemy is \_specifics\_. Try to make every thing, every detail, as concrete as possible.

Find the things you “can control.” What most people feel anxious about are usually uncertainties and things beyond their control. The opposite of anxiety is calm – a sense of control, certainty, and security. A basic fact we must face: in this world, we can only control a part of ourselves.

We cannot control how others think or treat us; we cannot control the weather or the harvest; we cannot control how things turn out or how much our salary increases. We can only, within certain limits, control what decisions we make and whether we take certain actions. We cannot control whether it rains tomorrow, but we can put an umbrella in our bag. We cannot control whether our boss gets angry, but we can reduce the harm to ourselves with a calm and firm attitude.

Try taking a piece of paper and dividing it into three areas, writing respectively: “What I can control,” “What I can influence,” and “What I cannot control.” This process helps you find a sense of safety and control amid the uncertainty of anxiety.

Focus your attention – pick one thing and do it. We unconsciously place our attention on uncomfortable feelings. That discomfort, as if under a magnifying glass, grows stronger and easily traps us in a “don’t want to do anything” state. So pick one thing to do – just one, no matter how small. Once you start that task, you’ll find that even if you feel deeply uncomfortable, you can still decide where to place your attention – whether it’s watching clouds drift by, memorizing ten vocabulary words, or building a small toy with blocks.

Some might say, “That discomfort will pull my attention back into anxiety.” That’s normal. Simply bring your focus back to that one thing you chose to do. As we gently return our attention to the task again and again, our focused time grows longer, and the brain’s false alarm about “danger” gradually fades, eventually returning to calm.

Next time the thought “I can’t do anything” pops up, ask yourself:

At this very moment, what is the most important thing for me to do?\_ Then keep pouring your attention into that thing, over and over. When you start to focus, anxiety will naturally dissolve.

Give yourself a small challenge – and accomplish it. Sometimes, intense anxiety comes from judgments like “I can’t do it,” “It’s too hard,” or “I don’t know how.” These judgments may be based on fact – we all face challenges that exceed our current abilities – so “not knowing” or “not being able” is perfectly normal. But before denying yourself, try taking just one small step forward from the point of total unfamiliarity.

Here are some approaches that may help:

Break down the task: Divide it by time, steps, or procedures until it becomes so small that you can say to yourself, “No problem, I can handle this level.” Do only one thing at a time: Temporarily set aside the many other to‑dos that come to mind. If they are important but not urgent, write them down.Start with ten minutes: Tell yourself, “I just need to last ten minutes.” If you can go longer, naturally continue. If ten minutes are up and you can’t keep going, tell yourself, “At least I made some progress,” then take a five‑minute break and try again. Rearrange your schedule: If you realise you need extra preparation time, factor it into your task timeline and give yourself plenty of leeway.Let go of perfectionism: Constantly remind yourself to abandon thoughts like “I must learn this completely” or “I have to master it fully.” Ask the right people for help: Look for those willing to help you and who can offer relevant advice. If you can’t find such a person, first find someone or a platform that can help you locate them.

No matter which one you achieve, give yourself a cheer.

Remember: anxiety \_will\_ pass. Persistent anxiety often comes from repeatedly checking whether the anxiety is gone yet – and that very checking traps us in a vicious cycle. Anxiety is actually a feeling that will pass eventually; even if you do nothing, it will pass. Actively choosing “not to fix it” is also a solution.

I feel a bit uncomfortable right now, but this feeling isn’t dangerous. I don’t need to run away from it or solve it. I can gently allow it to exist while placing more attention on what matters most right now. Gradually, I will feel better.\_

Remember, every emotion passes – and anxiety is no exception.

Let yourself get a good night’s sleep. Restarting can solve 90% of problems – and so can sleep. When anxious, hormones surge to high levels in a short time, stimulating faster brain responses, stronger muscle power, and quicker cardiovascular transport – all of which consume the body’s stored energy. Consumption requires recovery. The more anxious you are, the more you need to prioritise sleep quality. Poor sleep leaves you fatigued and less capable, making it harder to regulate your emotions actively.

Research shows that one night of poor sleep can raise anxiety levels by 30%, while deep sleep is a natural antidote to anxiety, lowering its level. You may lie in bed and still find it hard to fall asleep because of anxiety. In that case, try telling yourself:

Now I need rest. I can think about these things tomorrow after I wake up. For the few things that are especially important and I’m afraid of forgetting, I’ll write them down or save them on my phone – I’ll give them serious thought as soon as I wake up.\_

And, if necessary, don’t hesitate to consult a counsellor or ask a doctor for some medication.

We hope that tonight, everyone will have sweet dreams – and that the rebooted you tomorrow will feel brand‑new again.